Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Man (and God) at Work

I have always liked the concept of "working out your salvation." Don't get me wrong. I like the idea of "once saved always saved." Having made an adult proclamation of faith, both through Confirmation and through Baptism, it would certainly be a relief if I knew with certainty that I am secure...that I have locked up my eternal destination...and so I have nothing left I have to other expectations. But that just doesn't jive with my own heart...and how I understand the concept of free will.

As C.S. Lewis says, each decision we make...each and every moment of each and every day...moves us either a step closer to becoming a heavenly creature, or a hellish one. Our destinies are not literally determined in a single moment (though certainly there are pivotal decisions in ones life that seem to shape everything from that point forward). But just as easily as someone chooses to follow Christ they can sadly choose to abandon Him. And I know for me...the back and forth seems to happen almost daily. One moment I am focused and determined and filled with God's presence in and around my life...and the next I am in the middle of sin...deliberately having chosen to be there.

And so each day...each moment...I am trying to work out my salvation...trying to live out my faith...fighting to let go of more and more in my life...and cling ever more tightly to Christ. And so I believe, that despite the questioning and grumbling that I do, ultimately God is working in me, making me into a light that can pierce through and shine in this crooked and perverse world. As Jesus says...I need to pick up my cross each day...and pick it up whenever I fall...and carry it. Otherwise I am no disciple at all. And if I was no disciple at all (instead of a flawed one)...then all my work...all God's work...would be in vain. And I am simply refuse to let that happen.

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