Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Size of the Moment

I realized today that I have this idea...this expectation...that in order for a moment to be needs to be big. Somehow I've constructed this belief that a moment has to be life changing...or at least highly significant and really count. And by really count...I guess I mean for God to consider it worthwhile. I keep feeling like he has given each of us this limited number of moments...and we are suppose to be doing great things with them. We can't get to the end of our life and see it was all a collection of grocery store game playing...or even book reading. We have to DO things.

Despite that a part of me refuses to believe it's true...I walk around feeling like my mundane moments...the walks with the dog...the cooking of meals...the changing of litter boxes...the washing of dishes...these moments are being wasted...because I am not doing something more significant. Even moments watching a movie with my wife...or hurrying through a bath with my daughter...they seem insignificant. I sometimes find myself asking is THIS what life is suppose to be?

But something in me keeps insisting that this idea is wrong...that it is twisted. And lately that something has been getting louder.

One thing I want to do during Lent is learn to invite God into more moments of my life. I want to invite Him in to the busyness of my job. I want to invite Him in to the stressful to the prideful to the selfish moments. I want Him to be with me in the moments I spend watching TV...washing my daughters hair...brushing the dog. I want to open myself to His presence both when I am in a passionate conversation about my Faith and when I am trying to figure out how to get the third star on a level of Angry Birds.

I can't say I have it all figured out...or that I can even articulate it clearly. But it feels like something inside of me is saying that moments are significant...because of His presence. It has nothing to do with what we DO....but rather it has everything to do with His being there. Moments aren't big because of the circumstances or outcomes...they are big when He is in them.

Father, please teach me how to allow You into each moment...and how to make every step I take...significant in Your eyes.

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