Gluttons for Sin

Earlier this week the daily readings dropped us in the middle of Paul's admonition of the Galatians for doubting...and faltering in the Faith. Interestingly he challenges us not to "submit again to the yoke of slavery"...which is to say sin.

I know I have read this many times...and it may even be one of the pieces of Scripture I could quote (through probably not cite specifically). But I'm just realizing the true nature of his warning here.

He is not warning us about "falling" into sin. He is not telling us to take heed lest we wander into sin or get dragged in by others. No. He is telling us that we must fight against our deliberate, conscious choosing of sin.

Before we came to know Christ, we still had a choice...but we had no power to choose...no power to break away and deny those stubborn, evil impulses the world taught us.

This reminds me of a song done many years ago by the group The Newsboys (who by the way have a great new song out right now called "Born Again"). Here is how they described it:

Like a criminal guilty on all counts,
rattling his cage with every ounce
of resolve he never had,
I was convicted.

Then I took the pardon
and the walls came down,
but I must like it here,
'cause I keep hanging around
for a better suit, and an escort,
and a winning lottery ticket.

First we waited for miracles.
Then we needed a sign.
Now we're here to confess
we've wasted the time.

Despite that we have been set free by Christ...despite that we now have the strength and the power (through the Holy Spirit) to resist sin...to flee from sin...to resist and deny the worst parts of ourselves...we don't. At least we don't all the time...and maybe we don't much of the time.

Somehow, we feel comfortable in our filth...in our crud. I imagine it is like the ex-con who was in prison for so long, that he forgets how to live outside of that prison...and so rather than fight through it...it is easier to go back...easier to choose sin again.

I can't begin to count the number of times I've committed the same sin (and THAT is the frustration...its the same sin) over and over again...immediately feeling the conviction of God's Spirit...begging and receiving His forgiveness...and then on another day in another situation being weak...and sinning (that same sin) once again.

Don't get me wrong, I know we all sin...and I know we will never be perfected in this life...sin is a consequence of our collective rebellion. But damn if it isn't frustrating to see myself regressing...and doing so willingly (at least at that moment).

But that's why we need Paul...and the rest of Scripture...and the Saints....and our brothers and sisters here on Earth. We need to encourage one another. We need to build eachother up...and maybe sometimes hold eachother up (i.e. http://www.biblestudytools.com/asv/exodus/17-12.html).

We need to constantly remind eachother that...We are free....free indeed! We can choose! We can choose to leave our prisons of sin! We can walk through the open door...and into the Life of Christ...the life he has waiting for us in Him. And if we make that decision one moment at a time...if I make that decision one moment at a time...I know I will find Christ with me...taking that step with me...right by my side.

“Free at last; free at last; thank God Almighty we are free at last.”
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It finally happened....

I snapped yesterday. I almost heard it. Literally heard something snap in that crisp green bean (or pole bean) sort of way.

I saw how Serene Williams wanted to "sincerely apologize" for her ugly, unprofessional display at the end of her US Open Semifinal match against Clijsters (that I know is pronounced CLIGH-STERS, but that I like pronouncing CLI-JI-STERS). You can read about it here: Serena "Sincerely" Apologizes

The thing is...this is about two days too late. She could have apologized after the match. In fact she could have not made it worse by not going back to threaten and berate the lineswoman a SECOND time. She could have apologized at the press conference, instead of claiming she didn't remember what she said.

But what made me snap was the audacity to even bother trying to publicly apologize at this point...and talk about being a role model. She made a choice...decided to be stubborn...and so she should own it. Any "sincere" apology needs to now include not just the actual incident, but also the arrogance and stubbornness she perpetuated for the next 48 hours.

She is the epitome of all that is wrong with us...with this culture. Not each of us individually (though in some way we are al like this...in little ways...on a daily basis)...but of the collective behavior we created...and have allowed to persist...and even elevated to where we admire those who behave that way. Primidona...diva...self-absorbed...whatever you want to call it. The point is it is selfishness. It's all about us.

And yet the greatest that have ever been among us (or in their own minds...the most insignificant among us)...the people we revere...not admire...not idolize...but respect and revere...they were about others....not about self. I mean come on...who is not awed by Mother Teresa? How can you not be...she denied herself continually...for the sake of "the least of these"...the least of us (in the worlds eyes).

We've all heard the saying that "whoever has the most stuff wins." Well...I guess today it's more about who ever does whatever they want the most often wins. But we couldn't have it more backwards. It's suppose to be about less of us...and more of others. [Which coincidently actually means they'll be less need to worry about us...because everyone else will be worried about us.]

Anyway, the snapping sound by the way was me...my pride...my wanton selfishness. I know I can't really eliminate the selfishness from my life in one fall swoop...but I can tell you...I'm going forward with renewed vigor. Sure I'll fail...sure I'll still initially want to rip into the guy (or gal) who cuts me off on the highway....or the person at the grocery store who is completely oblivious that there was anyone else in line...or my friend who I get in an argument with because I'm more worried about pride than I am about what is right or true. But when I do those things...I'll apologize...and I'll mean it. Sincerely.

Eternity Now

I am convinced the secret of life is...

• ...seizing the day.


• ...living like there is no tomorrow.


• ..being in the moment.


• ...living like I was dying.

The trouble is...I don't know how to know if I am succeeding.

On one hand it seems like to really be in the moment...you have to let go of the past. Looking back suggests you are trying to relive a moment that has passed...that no longer is...that basically has died. But too often I've heard people say how their memories keep them company...reassure them...even carry them forward...particularly in the later years of life. So that would seem to suggest that some moments involve looking back.

On the other hand, it seems as soon as you try...deliberately...to be IN the moment...you are out of it...because you are distracted by your own efforts. The whole moment becomes artificial...and certainly that isn't the goal.

I actually read somewhere that from a neurological perspective "now" is about six seconds, meaning that is how long it takes before your current thoughts move into your memory. I have no idea if that is right...and I imagine it varies based on what is happening at that moment...but it certainly gives some perspective for what "the moment" is that we want to try and live in.

Anyway, at this point, I feel like all I can do is try to experience each interaction, each event, each moment...fully. I try not to let my mind wander away from what is happening "here and now" (especially when I am with others). I try not to dwell too much on yesterday...or yesteryears. (Afterall, I can't change what has happened....what I have done...or failed to do.) I try to remember at the moment of each decision which things will last and are eternal...and which things are not. Things pass away. People...relationships...actions...thoughts...these things "echo in eternity"...to borrow a line from the movie Gladiator.

"Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part
of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before.
And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your
life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly
creature or into a hellish creature; either into a creature that is in harmony
with God and with other creatures and with itself, or else into one that is in a
state of war and hatred with God and with its fellow creatures and with itself." - C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I guess when you boil it down, THAT is what "living in the moment" means to me. It means that I try to think and act in full awareness that what I think and say and do can move me...and potentially others...closer toward becoming a heavenly creature or a hellish creature...since we are ALL creatures. If what I say and do doesn't move me one way or the other...then that isn't a moment that is worth living. I don't want to wait for heaven...I want Eternity Here...and Now!