Saved

Sometimes I find it difficult walking the line between being earnest in self-examination...striving for the right path...and being too hard on myself...to the point of being unmerciful. On most days I am much more apt to see what is wrong in me...where I have failed...than to see what I did to please God. Of course when I do feel a sense of happiness and satisfaction in having done something that I think pleases Him, I quickly identify this self-satisfaction as pride and chastise myself for feeling good about doing what I should be doing anyway.

But thankfully, passages like today's first reading (Rom 10:9-18) remind me that I am saved not by my successes...not by my accomplishments...but by my belief in Jesus...my trust in Him. I say this very cognizant of the faith vs. works debate that has long raged between Protestants and Catholics. And to that all I can say (beyond what The Church teaches) is that for me...my belief and trust are work. Everyday I have a decision...and really every moment of everyday...to follow Him. That decision...that choice is my affirmation (or denial) of my belief and faith in Jesus. My life is recognizably different when I am working out my faith...and striving to please God. Unfortunately, my striving does not always end in success.

But I need to recall the lesson I learned from a fantastic book by Henri Nouwen titled, "The Return of the Prodigal Son. Taking inspiration from Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal Son," Nouwen takes the reader through a spiritual journey aimed at bestowing the reader with a radically new appreciation for the life-changing reality that God loves us...He truly loves us. Even though we reject Him and are selfish and take advantage of His blessings and distort His truth and pervert His gifts...He still loves us. St. Paul teaches us this so very plainly in Scripture:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

And so today, in the light of Christ's saving grace...I renew again my pledge to always keep God's love for me and for everyone at the forefront of everything I think and do. Though I will fail today, I am still loved. Though I will give in to weakness today, I am still His Child. And though I will sin...thank God...I am also saved.

Christ Above All

It's always a strange juxtaposition for me...being at the beginning of the Christmas season...and yet reading about the end times...and the persecution that will come because of Christ. Maybe it's fitting...a way of keeping everything in perspective. Of course Christmas is a joyful time...a time of thanksgiving...a time of celebration. But always at the edge of the Christmas season...there is a hint of a shadow cast from the Cross. This Baby who was born to save us all...will save us by crucifixion. He must die...so that we can live. And the same is true for us...we must die...die to our selves...die to our flesh...so that we may live.

But the thing that really struck me in today's readings was the Gospel. It seems like Jesus is warning us...that when it all comes down to it...all that we'll have is Him. Ultimately, our loyalty must be to Him above all. Not to family, not to friends. Our love for Him must surpass that of even our parents, our siblings, and even our spouses and children. Of course many people are blessed with spouses who are truly yoked together with them...sharing this gift of Faith in Christ. And thank God for all those whose children have grown up and not departed from the way of Faith taught to them. But the truth is...when push comes to shove...when the world hates you...when death is the cost of belief...we can never be sure how anyone will hold up. I can't imagine the feeling of betrayal that would come with being "handed over" by those you love most in this world. But of course, this is nothing that Jesus Himself did not experience.

And so again we find the theme...of holding everything with our hands open. Everything we have here on Earth can be taken away in a flash. All that lasts...all that is Eternal...we find in and through Christ. He will protect what matters. He will restore all that is lost ten times over. I guess it all comes down to Trust. Do I trust Jesus with everything? I mean really...everything? Am I willing to let go of everything...all that I love and hold dear...all that I value? That's what it comes down to it seems. Do I love Christ...really love Him? Do I trust Him....really trust Him? And do I love and trust Him...above all?

Time to Give

A seemingly simple observation...but a powerful teaching. That is what I see in today's Gospel. I mean it is maybe one of the shortest "lessons" Jesus taught...but as best I can tell...in encompasses the heart of what we are called to as Christians.

...but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood. Luke 21:4

We are all impoverished. Our sin, our selfishness, our pride...they leave us with so very little to offer Christ. We are flawed and wounded and weak...at least we have allowed ourselves to become these things. But even as we are, Christ humbled Himself, suffered and died for our sake....so that we might live. And so now that we are alive...His Spirit calls us to offer our livelihood....our everything. Out of our emotional, physical, and spiritual poverty...we are to give to God everything that we are. The good and the bad....knowing that none of it is worthy of Him...but trusting that He can transform it. This humble widow...whose name we don't ever learn...provides a moving, humbling example for us to follow. Whatever we have...however poor it may seem...we need to give it to God. I don't have any excuse to hold on to any of it. Whatever good I have is only through Him...and everything else is the result of my own weakness, but it has been redeemed by Him. So I must give it all to Him....I must not withhold anything. Whatever time I have....not just my extra time...it is His. Whatever energy I have...not just leftover energy from my week...it is His. Whatever resources I have...not just the stuff I don't use any more anyway...they are His. It's really as simple as that. That is our call. That is my call. So what am I waiting for? It's time to give.