Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Size of the Moment

I realized today that I have this idea...this expectation...that in order for a moment to be needs to be big. Somehow I've constructed this belief that a moment has to be life changing...or at least highly significant and really count. And by really count...I guess I mean for God to consider it worthwhile. I keep feeling like he has given each of us this limited number of moments...and we are suppose to be doing great things with them. We can't get to the end of our life and see it was all a collection of grocery store game playing...or even book reading. We have to DO things.

Despite that a part of me refuses to believe it's true...I walk around feeling like my mundane moments...the walks with the dog...the cooking of meals...the changing of litter boxes...the washing of dishes...these moments are being wasted...because I am not doing something more significant. Even moments watching a movie with my wife...or hurrying through a bath with my daughter...they seem insignificant. I sometimes find myself asking is THIS what life is suppose to be?

But something in me keeps insisting that this idea is wrong...that it is twisted. And lately that something has been getting louder.

One thing I want to do during Lent is learn to invite God into more moments of my life. I want to invite Him in to the busyness of my job. I want to invite Him in to the stressful to the prideful to the selfish moments. I want Him to be with me in the moments I spend watching TV...washing my daughters hair...brushing the dog. I want to open myself to His presence both when I am in a passionate conversation about my Faith and when I am trying to figure out how to get the third star on a level of Angry Birds.

I can't say I have it all figured out...or that I can even articulate it clearly. But it feels like something inside of me is saying that moments are significant...because of His presence. It has nothing to do with what we DO....but rather it has everything to do with His being there. Moments aren't big because of the circumstances or outcomes...they are big when He is in them.

Father, please teach me how to allow You into each moment...and how to make every step I take...significant in Your eyes.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


It is all too fitting this particular Lent that it begins with ashes. As I receive the dark outline of the cross on my forehead, my heart's prayer was that on Easter Sunday the ashes in my life are not burned palm branches...but the charred remains of my anything that separates me from God. Lent is a time to crucify...a time to send to the fire...a time to put to death the self...the flesh...the stuff that gets in our way of being who God created us to be. I want to use this allow God to use this make me more of who I really am....more of who He really made. This is my heart's cry.

"Remember, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return." -Genesis 3:19

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." - Mark 1:15

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Love Persists

I realized this it dawned on me how quickly my cough and stuffy nose and sinus congestion all dissipated after two weeks of seemingly little progress...that God had healed me without my ever having really asked Him to (though I think I did send up a prayer or two during my roughest days). Obviously I "wished" my cold would go away, but I didn't bring it to Him in least not earnestly. And yet overnight (or so it seems), my voice cleared up, I could breathe freely, and my nagging cough was gone.

I know in the grand scheme this healing is small and my "suffering" was insignificant compared to what so many others are called to endure...but still it taught me a little something about love: Love is persistent. It doesn't matter that your spouse or child (or parent or sibling or friend) isn't thinking about your loving them...or that they aren't asking anything of you at a given still still still love. And how much greater is the Love of God. We ignore Him, neglect Him, disobey Him...and yet He continues to Love us...answering prayers we don't vocalize...or ones we offer half-heartedly. Indeed He does know what we need without our asking (Matthew 6:8)...and while He wants us to ask...He wants us to talk to Him and talk with Him...He won't let our failures get in the way of His blessings in our lives.

What an amazing Love....what an Awesome God! Though we are inconsistent...and sporadic...and fitful...and distracted...He is constant....and His love is persistent!

Father, teach me to love as You do...teach me to persist on Your path...follow Your laws...adhere to Your call...not just every now and then...but every now...every moment.